When mama says this it seems as though she had already had a plan or a "plot" for how things were going to end. Mama had already forseen how she would die and how Jessie's death would be after hers. No parent truly wants their children to die before them.
She's apologizing for trying to own and control not only Jessie's life but also Jessie's death. When she says mine, it as though she needed Jessie more than Jessie needed her. Her needing Jessie would be why she would have wanted to die first. When Jessie is following through with the plan she is no longer Mama's. She has taken control of her own life for the first time. Mama feels as though if she wouldn't have controlled her all this time it never would have ended like this.
Even after lecture, I still don't know why Jessie told her mother about her plans before doing it. It's as though she hoped her mother would be able to stop her or something.
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I agree with sshultz...one of the major themes of this play is getting control. The ultimate control one can attain is on someone's life. Since everyone's life ends in death, controlling someone's death is equivalent to controlling that person.
Another instance where this theme is reiterated is when Agnes burn downs her houses. Marsha Norman italicizes her to emphasize control.
Another correlation to control can be made to DeLillo's White Noise where Jack wants to take control of Mink's life by plotting his death.
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