Quest for Quiet

In my opinion the major reason Jessie commits suicide is because of her inability to find inner peace (or quietness). Throughout the novel Jessie refers to her desire to find quietness: (pg 18: It’s exactly what I want. It’s dark and quiet: pg 18: “Dead is dead quiet.” pg 56: Smoking is the only thing I know that’s always just as what you think it’s going to be…right there when you want it and real quiet).
I believe Jessie’s quest for quiet stems from the conflict existing within herself. She refers to her son who she says is just like her “as it’s possible for any human to be” (pg 59)and says that both she and Cecil exist in him and they’re “tearing each other apart.” (pg 60)I believe the inner struggle going on in her son, is also symbolic of her own self-conflict. Jessie has characters existing within herself, tearing herself apart, and making it impossible for her to live. We see this inner struggle throughout the novel. On one hand, Jessie gets mad at her mother for not telling anyone of her fits offended Thelma was ashamed, then on the other hand she tells her mother it was hers to know (in reference to the fits)pg 80. On one hand Jessie tells her mother of her plan to commit suicide so that she wouldn’t blame herself for her daughters death (pg. 74), but on the other hand she expresses a need to hurt her mother through language when she declares “What if you are all I have and you’re not enough? What if I could take all the rest of it if only I didn’t have you here? What if the only way I could get away from you for good is to kill myself.” Pg. 72 Jessie was on a downhill battle for inner-struggle and the only way for her to find peace and quiet…would be through her death.